23
by saxgirl42
Summary: 23 shinobi perished that day. Pretty good, considering the odds. But how I wish it had only been 22... [KakashiGai friendship fic] Rated T for minor language and some gore. ONESHOT.


**_Author's Note: _**Hi there, and welcome to my first posted Naruto fan-fiction! A couple things before we start:

1) This fic is sad. Just wanted to make that clear.

2) If you really want to feeling of the story to hit home, I would highly recommend listening to "I Grieve" by Peter Gabriel. It's an absolutely gorgeous song, and I had it on repeat the entire time I was writing this so the mood of the song very much fits the mood of the story. Just a suggestion.

3) This is Gai's POV. (Which was kind of hard for me to write, because I don't know _all that much_ about him... so if he's out of character, I apologize in advance and please don't yell at me!)

4) It takes place... er... later in the series, I guess. I don't know, I suppose it's somewhat AU. -sweatdrop- Yeah... I'm sure you'll figure it out!

That's about all I have to say! So without any further ado, read on, enjoy, and please please comment!

**_Disclaimer:_** I don't own anything that has to do with Naruto besides my Kakashi t-shirt and a couple of manga.

**23**

It was a small grave - just a simple, engraved slab of marble - but if you had been judging from the crowd surrounding it you would have expected it to be as large as a shrine, and ten times as decorated.

I was at the forefront of the crowd, wearing black instead of my usual green, my eyes glued to that small piece of stone. I don't think I quite understood what had happened at that point; instead, I was completely numb to everything. The clouds covering the sky above, heavy with threatening rain, didn't draw my attention, nor did the periodic sniffles and sobs from the mourning people all around me. Even the worried glances from my own students failed to penetrate my wall of apathy.

Maybe it was because nothing had yet really sunken in, even though I had witnessed that terrible event with my own eyes. It seemed like so long ago...

-----

_"Gai, get down!" _

_I ducked immediately, and felt the hair-raising sensation of a kunai just barely missing me. I stood once again to receive an attack from the enemy ninja who had thrown the knife at me, and a solid kick to his abdomen brought him down quickly enough. Only then did I get a chance to nod my thanks to the one who had called out._

_"Thanks, Kakashi." The Copy Ninja nodded back and swiftly stabbed an attacker who had gotten too close with a kunai._

_The battle had been raging for almost half a day now, and our squads were still outnumbered and getting tired. It was one hundred against almost four hundred, Konoha being at the disadvantage, but luckily most of the shinobi we had at our disposal were Jounin or Chuunin. I was unsure as to how many we had lost at that point, but from my perspective the Leaf Village ninja seemed to be holding their own._

_----- _

"Gai-sensei?"

I blinked out of my thoughts and glanced down. Lee, looking concerned, was the one who had addressed me.

"Yes, what is it, Lee?" I asked quietly. The furrow in Lee's brow deepened.

"I was just wondering if you were all right," he whispered, being respectful of the Hokage; at the moment she was saying a few words about the name on the gravestone. "You do not seem to be paying attention, and I know you were good friends with -"

"I am fine, Lee." My favorite student looked slightly hurt by my abrupt interruption, but I will admit again that at that moment I was in a fog of apathy so I didn't much care.

"Yes, sensei. Whatever you say."

-----

_I lost track of Kakashi in the battlefield, but wasn't all that worried at the time; he was an incredibly talented fighter, which was one of the reasons I had chosen him as my ultimate rival. Mere moments later we were fighting back-to-back once more; a deadly team, if I do say so myself._

_Everything was going well, as it always did, when suddenly I felt him stumble and heard a grunt of pain._

_"Kakashi?" I called, fiercely kicking away a ninja who had noticed my partner's moment of weakness._

_"I'm fine, Gai. It's nothing," he replied, and went back to fighting. I heard him call out a jutsu, and decided that he must have really been all right._

_Maybe if I had realized it then, I could have saved him._

_----- _

"- will be sorely missed by all. May he rest forever in peace."

Silence followed the end of the Fifth Hokage's speech. She held her head high as she walked back to her spot in the crowd, so that all could see her proud tears.

The next to approach the grave were three Chuunin, two boys and a girl. Team 7. _His_ team. Naruto Uzumaki, Sakura Haruno, and Sasuke Uchiha. None of them looked to be in any condition to make a speech that could rival the Hokage's, so they merely walked up to the stone in silence.

Sakura was the first. Her lower lip was trembling and I thought I saw a tear roll down her cheek, but she kept her composure as she knelt before the grave and bowed her head in respect, placing a single lily on the ground before the stone.

"I couldn't have asked for a better sensei," she whispered, her eyes closed. I never would have heard her if I hadn't been standing at the front of the crowd. "I just wish you could have stayed with us longer. I - we - will miss you, Kakashi-sensei." Then she leaned forward, her pink hair falling over her face, and lightly kissed the grave. When she stood, her shoulders were shaking with barely contained sobs, and she just made it to her mother's side before succumbing to her grief.

-----

_The battle continued, but just when I thought we might have a chance at victory, the solid presence at my back collapsed. I spun, shocked, to see Kakashi crumpled on the ground, coughing up blood. My own blood ran cold with fear as I knelt beside him._

_"What happened?" I demanded, carefully helping him into a sitting position while scanning his body for wounds._

_"It's nothing," he rasped. I was about to reprimand him for lying when suddenly he broke into another fit of coughs, his entire body convulsing in my grip. Some of the blood he coughed up landed on my chest, and the sight of it made furious; not at him, but at whatever bastard did this to him._

_"This isn't nothing. I'm going to get you help," I said angrily, preparing to lift him into my arms, but he gripped the front of my vest with a surprising amount of force, making me freeze._

_"It's too late." That one, small sentence just about made my heart stop._

_"W-what do you mean?" I stammered._

_"I'm not injured in a way that can be healed, Gai," he said firmly. I frowned, about to argue, but he merely tilted his head, revealing a puncture wound at the base of his neck. "It's bleeding into my lungs, as well as out." My eyes widened of their own accord; it was no wonder anymore why he was coughing up blood, or why the visible half of his face was so pale. The gaping hole was indeed bleeding profusely, soaking the inside of his vest and his shirt, and I could only imagine the damage inside._

_"We need to get you to a healer," I said immediately, about to lift him again._

_"No, Gai. I'm done." I blinked, still not really believing._

_"Kakashi..." I murmured._

_"Do me a favor," he said weakly. I nodded; at that moment, I would do anything. "Pull my mask down. I can't breathe." I gulped and lifted my hand to his face, but hesitated as soon as I touched the fabric. I had never seen his face before. This... this was huge._

_"Gai," Kakashi pleaded, and I bit my lip as I carefully pulled the navy blue mask down past his chin. As he took in a tremulous breath, I took in his face. He was pale because of the loss of blood, but I had to admit, he was an attractive guy. The idiotic part of my mind that didn't know what to do in terrible situations kicked in at this moment, thinking, "Damn, that's another thing he beat me at."_

_But then it hit me that this would probably be the last time, as well as the first, that I would ever see his face._

_----- _

Sasuke was next. His face was completely calm, but his dark eyes looked a bit too red-rimmed. He, also, knelt before the grave and lowered his head in veneration.

"Kakashi," he said quietly. "You have helped me so much over the years, and for that I thank you. I wouldn't be the ninja I am today if it hadn't been for you. I will never forget you." He took in a deep breath and removed something from his pocket: a Konoha headband. Reverently, he held it to his chest for a moment, then carefully tied it around the top of the headstone and rose gracefully to his feet. With a last glance at the grave, he turned away and wiped his right eye, but not before I saw the glimmer of a tear.

It was getting very hard for me to retain my composure. My wall was swiftly coming down, and I was afraid of what would happen once it was completely gone. I was afraid because I knew that I wouldn't be able to handle it. I was the Green Beast of Konoha, but I knew deep down that I was broken.

And that knowledge frightened me.

-----

_"Why didn't you stop fighting?" I asked finally. "You told me you were fine!" To my surprise, Kakashi smiled and chuckled wetly; some blood leaked out of the side of his mouth, but he wiped it away._

_"I knew I was going to die as soon as I got this wound. It was only a matter of time." My breath hitched; he had used the 'd' word. "Besides, you were tired. I couldn't leave your back open, otherwise we both would be lying here talking about death."_

_"You are _not_ going to die," I growled, my arm tightening around his shoulders. He just kept smiling, even as he coughed up more blood. "I'm serious! I won't let you die! You are my eternal rival, got that? That means you can't die!"_

_"Gai," Kakashi grumbled. "Shut up." I did, but only because I was too horrified and lost to find anything more to say. I realized that I was shaking._

_"Fine," I said, my voice trembling noticeably. "If you won't let me save you -"_

_"You can't save me," Kakashi interrupted. I ignored him._

_"- then I'll just stay here with you." Kakashi's smile returned, and his eyes closed._

_"Fine."_

_----- _

Naruto stepped up to the grave, sniffling. He followed the example of his teammates and knelt, but before he could say anything he punched the ground, nearly pulverizing the lily Sakura had placed there.

"Damnit! Why did you have to leave us? It's not fair," he growled. "You shouldn't have died. We still need you." He paused and took a deep breath. It made no difference, though, because the tears came full force and he raised his face to the cloudy heavens and roared. I swear I heard some of the nine-tailed fox in that cry, but the display was over quickly and the next thing I knew Naruto was rising to his feet. He was about to turn away from the grave, shaking with barely suppressed grief, when suddenly he stopped, his eyes on the stone. Without a word he carefully took the headband in his hands and tilted it so that it rested crookedly on the grave instead of straight across, as Sasuke had tied it.

Its new angle exactly mirrored that which its owner had notoriously sported.

Such a simple action, but so meaningful to those present... and no doubt those departed, too.

-----

_It was quiet now. The fight was drawing to a close, and we were alone in our part of the battlefield. I still cradled Kakashi's limp body in my arms, helpless to do anything as I literally watched the life drain out of him._

_"Hey, Kakashi, can you still hear me?" I asked quietly. The Copy Ninja nodded weakly. "I just wanted to say that it has been an honor being your rival, and that I will never have another comrade whom I will hold in such high respect."_

_"Gai, I -" He was interrupted by another coughing fit. By now I was used to them, and when he had recovered a bit I calmly cleaned the blood from around his lips. It was almost time. He was getting weaker, I could tell._

_"Don't talk. I don't want to know your deepest, darkest secrets, okay?" I said, trying to sound relaxed. Kakashi opened his eyes tiredly, and it was then that I knew he was leaving. His Sharingan had faded, and the life had all but left his dark right eye. _

_"I only wanted... to say thank you..." he rasped, smiling feebly. I felt the tears coming, but was determined to hold them back. Kakashi would _not_ see me cry._

_But then... he was gone. All the breath left his flooded lungs with what sounded like a sigh of relief, and his eyes became unfocused, staring dully at a spot over my shoulder._

_"Kakashi?" I said quietly, shaking him slightly. Nothing. "Kakashi! KAKASHI!"_

_I couldn't handle it. I didn't care who saw me anymore. I gathered his bloody body closer to me, buried my face in his silvery hair, and wept._

_----- _

After Team 7 had said their good-byes, the crowd surrounding the grave began to disperse. I remained where I was, still staring at that little slab of engraved marble. Even my students left me, looking somber.

Within about ten minutes, there were only a few of us remaining. I glanced at the others who had stayed and recognized Genma and Asuma, the latter of whom was grimly supporting a weeping Kurenai. Team 7 was also still there, Sasuke allowing Sakura to cry on his shoulder and Naruto staring at the sky.

It was only then that I realized it had begun to rain.

"Naruto." I looked up and saw Iruka standing beside his former student, watching the boy closely. "You can let it out, you know."

"No. A ninja should never show emotion."

"Naruto..."

"Naruto, Kakashi wouldn't want you to make yourself miserable over his death," I said suddenly. "Let it out, and move on." With that, I finally turned away from the grave and began the long trek home.

-----

_I don't remember exactly how long I held him, sobbing bitterly. Asuma and Kurenai found me, and the two of them managed to contain their grief long enough to help get me back to the village. I was still clutching Kakashi's body, but had finally stopped crying._

_The Hokage took Kakashi's body as soon as we arrived at the hospital, even though I told her it was too late; he was already gone. Now the three of us – Asuma, Kurenai, and I - were sitting in the waiting room, waiting for confirmation of what we already knew._

"_Gai," Kurenai said softly, her eyes swimming in tears. I looked up from my bloodstained hands and met her ruby gaze without actually seeing her. "Maybe you should go home and change." For the first time since we had gotten to Konoha I looked down at myself and realized that the front of my green bodysuit was drenched with blood – Kakashi's blood. It had soaked all the way through, and I could feel the cool wetness upon my skin. It made me cold, despite the dry atmosphere of the waiting room. I trudged home and took a two-hour long shower, but it felt as though the gore refused to come off._

_The very next day there was a large memorial service for everyone who had lost their lives. _

_I found out that twenty-three Konoha shinobi perished in that battle._

_Twenty-three out of a hundred when we were outnumbered four to one was impressive - and downright lucky - but even so..._

_I found myself wishing that it had only been twenty-two._

_**Author's Note: **_Comments are very much appreciated. Thanks, guys!_  
_


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